


Hindsight is 20/20

by Sincestiel



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cockles, First Time, Frottage, M/M, mentions (if you squint) of Jensen's Days days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincestiel/pseuds/Sincestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I… I can't do this," And that is not something Jensen ever expected to say.  Not when it comes to Supernatural.  Because how in the hell could a show like this possibly test him mentally?  Physically, sure, and that's why they have stunt guys… Now <i>there's</i> a thought.  Maybe someone could stand in for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hindsight is 20/20

**Author's Note:**

> Four things:
> 
> 1) There are no wives. No wives. No. Wives. Nothing against the (I'm sure) lovely ladies. They just don't fit here. So I have temporarily erased them.  
> 2) This was born of my wondering how Jensen and Misha might handle Destiel becoming canon. Obviously I don't really think this would happen. But in my mind? This is how it goes.  
> 3) This was written for my beautiful friend, Bethany in celebration of finishing one of her exams. Told you I wasn't gonna publish it. Sometimes I lie. But I WUUUUUUUUUUV you.  
> 4) Cockles. Cockles. Cockles. Yeah. There's no point to this one. Just like typing it and saying it and reading it cause it feels so dirty.
> 
> And now, on to the shameless porn...

"I… I can't do this," And that is not something Jensen ever expected to say. Not when it comes to Supernatural. Because how in the hell could a show like this possibly test him mentally? Physically, sure, and that's why they have stunt guys… Now _there's_ a thought. Maybe someone could stand in for him.

"It's not that big a deal, dude. And it's not like we didn't see this coming," Misha shrugs, reclines on the couch in Jensen's trailer and bites into an apple he brought with him. Jensen tracks the apple's progress. Watches as Misha's lips purse over it when he pulls it away, his crunching loud in the quiet that follows his statement.

He's just so nonchalant about this. Jensen doesn't understand it. Surely he must feel some anxiety about it too. It's just weird. They're _friends_ and _guys_ and this is not something guy friends do. Like, at all.

"I did not see this coming," Jensen protests, waving the script in question in Misha's general direction as he plops down on a chair – the one furthest from Misha, but that's neither here nor there. It's not like he does it on purpose, putting distance between them. He's just… space might do him some good right now.

Misha laughs, actually laughs, loud and obnoxious, which is pretty much the only way Misha knows how to laugh. And usually Jensen finds that kind of endearing. But not right now. Not while they're discussing this.

"Oh come on, all the eye fucking? The nonexistence of personal space? Cas has had a hard on for Dean from day one. And you, whether you realize it or not, have played into that. You built this just as much as I did. Hindsight, man. Anyway, it's not like we haven't-"

"That was _once_ ," Jensen interrupts sternly, "And it was just a peck. And we were drunk. And it was a stupid dare from Jared. _And_ we swore never to speak of it again."

"No, you swore never to speak of it again. I, on the other hand, did no such thing. It doesn't bother me, Jensen. I'm secure enough in my manhood and my sexuality that it doesn't keep me awake at night."

Misha looks at him meaningfully, but Jensen ignores it. That look is both a question and a statement. Neither of which Jensen wants to address. Ever.

"Yeah, well, that's not so hard when your sexuality is fuck-anything-that-moves, now is it?"

Rolling his eyes, Misha takes another bite of his apple and pulls a leg up onto the couch, resting one arm over his knee. He just looks so calm about this. He also looks like he knows just exactly why this is such an issue for Jensen. But Jensen doesn't want to think about that, and Misha doesn't push.

"Bisexual, Jen. Bi. I don't know why that's always such a big thing for you. I like people. People are interesting. And hot. And it doesn't really matter to me what's going on downstairs. Equal opportunity. But look, if this is going to cause problems, we can talk to someone. There's enough time to change the storyline if you're that against it. But the breaking of hearts all over the world when Dean doesn't settle down with Cas? That's on you, man."

Jensen huffs and looks down at the script in his hand.

_Dean cups Castiel's face gently. Their gazes are locked intently._  
 _Dean: It's you, Cas. It's always been you._

And he can't even read the rest of it. Because then there's kissing. Actual guy on guy kissing. And Jensen is one of those guys. And just… no. No way.

But then he thinks about whining and pleading and demanding a script change. He knows Misha will back him up, but he'll also be clear that the problem is Jensen's and not his. And that just makes Jensen seem like a homophobic dick. Jensen may have some personal issues when it comes to this, but he's not an asshole. And he doesn't want his fans finding out about him throwing a fit for a script change just because the script called for a few kisses with Misha.

And Misha's got a point. He can deny it all he wants, but he did kind of see this coming. And yeah, he played it up a little. And every scene they do together just ratchets the sexual tension up a few notches. It's not really on purpose; there's just so much there to work with. So much Castiel/Dean chemistry and history and it's so easy to fall into. He should have been more careful. But Misha's right, hindsight is 20/20 and this is at least half Jensen's fault too.

"Fine," Jensen grits out, jaw set firm as he looks up just in time to see Misha sucking excess apple juice off his fingers. And god, does he have to do that right now? Because those lips are-

But no. He's not thinking about that. Doesn't even remember how Misha's lips felt. Doesn't know how full and soft they are. Has no clue how tenderly he touches, even when it's for a kiss on a dare and Jared's literally rolling on the floor laughing. Jensen absolutely has no idea just what Misha's mouth – even pressed against his briefly – can do to him. No clue. Moving on now, thank you very much.

"But I need you to be professional. No joking around. No trying to get under my skin. Nothing untoward or questionable. Got it?"

One side of Misha's mouth quirks up, but he nods and he looks so earnest when he says, "Would I ever do a thing like that?"

Jensen doesn't bother with an answer because they both know he would and he does. But Jensen trusts Misha and if Jensen asks for this, he knows Misha will comply.

"You'd better ask for Jared to be kept off set. Because while I can promise I'll do my best to make it as easy for you as possible, you know how he is."

*~*~*

The few weeks that follow their conversation in Jensen's trailer are tense to say the least. They don't talk about it, the impending make out session they'll be engaging in in front of a large portion of the crew and eventually the entire world. But it hangs over their heads, makes Jensen's every interaction with Misha awkward and strange. 

And Jensen knows that's his doing, but he just can't help it. The last time he kissed a male co-star things ended badly. But that wasn't for the cameras and Jensen doesn't think about that anymore. Or he tries not to. But that script taunts him from its resting place on his table and all he can think about is screwing up his friendship with Misha. He thinks they were lucky to get out of the last, and only, incident unscathed. He doesn't know if they'll pull through this. Doesn't know if he'll pull through this.

He's already thinking things he promised himself he'd never think about again. He's already looking at Misha differently and that does not bode well for them. Because when Jensen does that with a guy, shit gets all kinds of fucked up. _He_ gets all kinds of fucked up because that is _not_ who he is. He doesn't find guys attractive. He doesn't think about kissing guys. He doesn't think about touching another man. Except for when he does, apparently. And now he does that with Misha.

Fuck.

But thankfully, Misha gives him a wide berth for those weeks. Only approaching him when necessary, and always carefully, like Jensen's a wild animal that might bolt at any moment. And maybe he is. He wants to, that's for sure. But there's something about the way Misha looks at him, like he knows all of Jensen's secrets and he's willing to keep them, that stops him in his tracks. It reminds Jensen that Misha is his friend and they'll make it through this. And when it's all said and done, maybe Jensen can go back to looking at Misha like he used to. With only slight pangs of longing here and there, and only when he's had too much to drink and he thinks on that night too hard.

Misha knocks on his trailer door the night before they're scheduled to make out for the cameras. And it's the first time they've been alone together since Jensen agreed to do this. Jensen wants to turn him away, but he can't. Misha actually makes a lot of sense when he argues that they should run lines alone before they do it for everyone else. He says it'll help Jensen get comfortable with the dialogue and help him figure out how he wants to play it emotionally.

"We'll leave the actual kissing for tomorrow, of course. But if there's any fear telegraphed to the camera, it needs to be Dean's and not yours. So you should ease into this tonight and tomorrow you'll be ready to go."

And that is true. Dean's fear wouldn't be of kissing another man, not now, not with all the realizations he's come to in the last few weeks. His fear would be of scaring Castiel off. And Jensen needs to get this right. In as few takes as possible.

He agrees and they settle on the couch, scripts in hand. They do a few dry runs, just exchanging dialogue with little to no inflection. Just getting a feel for the lines. But as they progress, they pump a little more of their characters into it on every run, figuring out how Cas should say this or how Dean would react to that.

In just under an hour, they're both fully immersed in that world, both in character completely. Jensen lives somewhere under Dean, and he's aware, conscious of every word and every motion, but dulled by Dean's overpowering presence. And it's the same for Misha; he can tell. It isn't Misha standing across from him now, as they work out physical logistics, it's Castiel. And that makes it a little easier.

Because when his hand cups a scruffy face, he isn't touching his friend, he's touching a man he wants for a lover – and those lines are not blurred in the real world… not at all, no way. But here, now, with Dean baring his soul for Castiel's viewing pleasure, they are. And Jensen relaxes into it, lets Dean take over and doesn't think about anything but getting it right. He doesn't think about anything but how to keep Castiel. How to make sure they get their happily ever after, because fuck, they deserve it.

"It's you, Cas. It's always been you," Dean says through Jensen's mouth, and on a whim, his thumb grazes softly over Castiel's bottom lip.

The sound that issues from those plush lips is not in the script, Jensen knows this. But Dean does not. Dean's life isn't a script, as much as he sometimes wishes it was. Dean just hears Castiel's need, his own desire echoed from the mouth of the man he loves.

And… 

Dean goes for it; Jensen doesn't fight it. Castiel surges forward eagerly; Misha lets it happen.

Four separate personalities lean in for a kiss. But the moment lips touch lips, two fade away. And then it's just Jensen and Misha, and tongue that is not called for, but gets slipped in anyway. Jensen's fault. Hands that aren't supposed to grab clutch at hips. Misha's doing. And they're toppling sideways, the couch cushioning them as the wet sounds of mouth on mouth fill the room.

Jensen's head is spinning, suddenly empty, devoid of Dean entirely. He can't blame this on his character, can't hide behind that cover. And Misha just keeps on kissing, uncaring of consequences, need expressed with every flick of his tongue. Jensen doubles it, pulling Misha forward, on top of him, as he leans back.

He knows this should stop. Immediately. But Misha is a force of nature and Jensen is helpless under his onslaught. And, god, he likes it. Wants it.

His legs splay when Misha moves forward willingly. He slots himself between Jensen's thighs like he belongs there. But it's Jensen who presses first, his hips lifting to find Misha's groin as his hands grip tightly to Misha's hipbones. Jensen whimpers and Misha growls and then moves lower, his lips blazing a trail of fire over Jensen's jaw and down his neck. And Jensen just submits, his head falling back over the arm of the couch, hips still working to find the sweet friction he so desperately needs.

"God, that's it. Just like that," Misha breathes, all gravelly and rough, into the damp skin of Jensen's shoulder where he's pulled the t shirt back to nip and suck.

That should jolt him out of his daze, Misha's lust ridden voice urging him on. But it doesn't. And Jensen finds, in a moment of shock, that he's in total control here, and he doesn't want to stop. Surprisingly, he doesn't dwell on it though. Just keeps offering Misha new skin to attack and working them closer and closer to coming in their pants like horny teenagers.

A broken moan escapes Jensen when Misha bites down just under his collarbone, fingers scrabbling at offending cloth to get it out of the way. And fuck if Jensen isn't just as keyed up, just as eager to be naked as Misha is to have him that way. But there's no time for that, because Misha's hips jerk and he's coming, soaking through his own jeans and leaving a wet spot on the outside of Jensen's.

Jensen's breath stutters and his eyes fall closed, because he can feel it, the insistent pulsing of Misha's cock, the shudders that run through his body. The choked off grunts that are pressed into his neck. It is, without a doubt, the hottest experience of his life. Which is scary, but also kind of liberating. Because now he knows, for certain.

Before he can think about it too hard though, Misha's hand slips between them, fitting itself over the obvious bulge in Jensen's jeans, palming him expertly through the material. And then Jensen's riding the knife's edge of orgasm, so close to tipping over.

"Come on, Jen. Let me feel you," And that's all it takes, a few needy whispered words of encouragement and Jensen is coming harder than ever before, right against Misha's hand.

It's blinding, the feeling that coils tightly in his stomach and then snaps. He's on fire, his skin burning as his back arches and he gasps for air. His brain short-circuits and his mouth falls open, body shivering with the force of his pleasure.

And then he just goes limp. Doesn't even complain when Misha's lips find his again, kissing him languidly, like they have all the time in the world. It's soft and sweet and Jensen should be running for the hills by now. Hell, long before now if history really does repeat itself. But that's not the case at all. Because Misha's looking at him like that again, knowing and understanding and wanting even still. Even though he is fully aware of Jensen's hang-ups and fears. And Jensen just can't find it in himself to push that away. Not again. He won't let himself make that mistake with Misha.

Misha settles into his chest, mouth pressed warmly into Jensen's cheek as his hands smooth over Jensen's clothes, setting him to rights as much as he can with come drying in both their pants. And Jensen just lets him, one hand tracing nonsensical patterns on Misha's flank, wishing he had bare skin to work with instead of the t shirt Misha's still wearing.

"So that was… unexpected," Misha says, low and almost uncertain. Not of himself though, more like he's waiting for Jensen to freak out. And Jensen is sure that will happen, just not right now.

"Not really, if you think about it," Jensen says quietly, steady and reassuring, trying to put Misha at ease. Because if he freaks out, he's going to do it privately. Jensen Ackles is a man who learns from his mistakes.

"How so?" Misha asks, more relaxed now, one hand petting over Jensen's stomach soothingly.

"Well, Dean and Castiel," Jensen starts thoughtfully, "They weren't supposed to end up like this. But they did. And it's because of us. So maybe it's always been there?"

Misha chuckles lightly, huffing out warm breath over Jensen's skin that tingles in a very pleasant way. Maybe the freak out can wait for a while. A long, long while. Because right now all Jensen wants is to nap, ruined jeans be damned, and then maybe work on actually getting naked with the man curled into his side.

"Jensen Ackles, are you admitting you might not be one hundred percent straight?"

Jensen rolls his eyes, but it's lost on Misha because Misha's too busy getting comfortable on his chest and burrowing his lower half deeper into the space between Jensen's body and the back of the couch – what little there is.

"Or maybe it's just your magnetic sexuality. Luring me in, seducing me."

He means it to be a joke, but Misha is suddenly very still, and when he speaks, he lifts his head to look Jensen right in the eye and his tone is serious.

"I can't do it like that, Jen. Either you're in or you're out, but you can't blame your decision on me. Okay? This is your choice and-"

"I get it, Misha. It was just a joke. I… I think I'm okay with this."

Misha's too blue eyes study him for a moment, and seemingly finding what he needs, he nods and spreads the top half of his body over Jensen's once again.

"That'll do, pig. That'll do."

Jensen laughs, light and free for maybe the first time in his whole life. It's a good feeling


End file.
